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What's That Smell?

I may have mentioned before that we have a bit of a gassy family. A fact which some of the family “celebrates” more than others. But, honestly, everyone toots (the preferred term around here), so why try and deny that it happens.

I have been blessed with the gift of being able to toot silently. Nearly all of the time they are silent. And, don’t let my hubby tell you otherwise, but a lot of times they aren’t stinky. Well let’s say 50% of the time. So frequently I let them go as a bit of a test run. I mean I can’t tell which 50% they are falling under so the only way to tell is to let one fly. This seems very reasonable to me.

A classier person would probably head to a bathroom or private place to conduct these experiments, but I have never been known for my class. Shocking I know. So here is my dirty little secret. Now that I have a baby these public experiments become much less risky. Poor Silas has been blamed for more than his fair share of stinky moments. I mean who is going to say anything when you sniff the baby and note that he must have a dirty diaper?

So the other night the family was out for dinner at a local Dutch restaurant. We’re not Dutch, but the nice thing about a Dutch restaurant is you can get a hamburger and fries for under $3 and it tastes a lot better than McDonalds. And if you eat past 5:30 the crowd thins out as the majority of the customers go to bed at 6. Actually 90% of the people there are in diapers and only 10% are babies if you know what I mean.

Anywho, we are eating a nice meal although I am getting very uncomfortable because for whatever reason I am feeling quite gassy. I think I might be able to hold out until I get home, but I am getting seriously uncomfortable. So I let out a little tester. A silent little tiny tester. Unfortunately it was an experiment gone bad. Yep, the wrong 50%. Which is made much more unfortunate when Hannah pipes up quite loudly, “Mom, you tooted!!!!!” I tried to deflect blame to the baby, but I could not stop giggling and by then no one is buying it anyway.

I can only hope that everyone in the restaurant had their hearing aids turned off.

Comments

  1. Andrea @ MommySnacks.net says:

    I seriously ROFL! Crazy, crazy girl!

  2. Love it- that’s soooooo stinkin’ (couldn’t resist) funny!! My 3 year old blames her toots on her daddy- while he’s at work 20 miles away!
    .-= Candace´s last blog ..It’s Been a While =-.

  3. You can so pay her back for that sometime…like before she heads out the door with her prom date or something.. =)

  4. Laughing out LOUD! We are a gassy family too. We blame it on whoever is closest.
    .-= Kathy´s last blog ..Weekend Wonderings 02 21 10 =-.

  5. Oh my gosh…you’re hilarious! I get a little gassy too sometimes, though. For some reason, it hits me in Hallmark stores. Weird, huh?!?!
    .-= Staci Brown´s last blog ..Planet Shark: Predator or Prey =-.

  6. Mr. DiaperDiaries says:

    Keep it classy San Diego

  7. this is hilarious because:
    1.) Mark is dutch and I know exactly what you mean about the dutch restaurant. Dutch junk food is AWESOME.

    2.) one time I passed gas (our family’s preferred term) at petsmart and the cashier was wandering around looking for DOG POOP which pretty much proves Mark right that my gas is stinkier than I think it is.

    3.) I blame explosions on my sweet baby Anneliese approximately all the time.

    Once again proving that you and I are kindred spirits.

  8. wow! lol! I am such a 5 year old when it comes to this topic! I giggle and laugh and I am proud of it. My family was VERY open about passing gas…but now I NEVER pass gas in front of my husband lol…just wait till I get pregnant! All rules are off then!
    .-= Jen-After the Alter´s last blog ..Blogaversary Week Begins!! =-.

  9. That was hilarious! Canadian tree frogs are our scapegoat of choice for the passing of the gas. Passing gas is one of the proofs that God has a sense of humor, we should learn from that. :)

  10. You are too funny! I did not grow up in a house where this type of skill was openly flaunted. But, my husband did. He is one of three boys, and, well, you can use your imagination with that one. I am now outnumbered in our house–let the games begin.

    PS – When first starting to potty train our little guy, we had to spell out the difference between real poop and gas. Gas is now know as air poop. Your welcome.
    .-= Jennifer Y.´s last blog ..My First Tweet-Up =-.

  11. hahaha…I can’t quite bring myself to discuss it or admit to it. I don’t know why. My husband is totally like, “Deal with it!” Then again he’s one to leave the bathroom door open no matter what he’s doing, if only the family is home. Too funny.
    .-= Kate´s last blog ..Wooden Toys…GIVEAWAY! =-.

  12. Our house is a tooting safe haven as well. We let our freak flag fly over here. I mean, not that tooting openly is freaky. We think it’s pretty normal. And we laugh like idiots whenever one of us does it. It’s usually me or my husband. My 3 yo blames it on me ALL the time. Loved the post. Toot flyers unite.
    .-= Tricia´s last blog ..My First Top Ten Tuesday! =-.

  13. This is so funny – kids never let you get away with anything!

  14. don’t tell me you went to Russ’ – no wait – tell me it was Russ’…
    .-= designHer Momma´s last blog ..It’s Snowing! Hurry up – Get your Milk, Bread and Eggs ready! =-.

  15. TOO Stinkin FUNNY!
    We have the same problem at my house except no one is quite and EVERYONE stinks!

  16. Jessica B says:

    One time I tooted and my SO looked at me horrified. I giggled and he said “I just farted and I thought it was going to be silent.. but it came out of YOU instead! Ventrilifart!”

  17. Oh, I have totally blamed my stinkies on my son and he’s almost 3! ;) Something with this pregnancy is making all of mine stinky though, bleh.

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