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Week 14- The Challenge of Purity

sex-challenge.gif We are taking a break from giving you a challenge to work on this week. Instead I want to take a brief moment to get a bit serious and discuss a different kind of challenge. It’s the challenge of maintaining an active and exciting sex life without compromising your purity. I am going way out on a limb and way out of my comfort zone, but because I feel this is so important, I am taking that risk. I have a dear friend who just went through an ugly divorce because of a problem that I think is sadly avoided in Christian circles. In fact, her ex-husband once confessed this problem to a group of Christian men and he was shunned. The problem I refer to is porn. In this case, it started with porn and spiraled into affairs and worse. Devastating does not even begin to describe her experience.

Porn is a 57 billion dollar industry. Can you even wrap your brain around that number? Sadly, 50% of Christian men admit to viewing it. 13% of women also confess to the same thing. I have had a few conversations lately with men and women whose lives and marriages have suffered major devastation because of porn coming into their lives.

Let me just give you my humble opinion on the matter. Porn has no business in your marriage. I have heard people argue that it enhances things in the bedroom or that it is just something their hubby watches and it is no big deal. Let me just caution you about this. First of all, who can live up to a porn movie? Not only the bodies, but the unrealistic performances. There is nothing realistic or healthy about it. The problem is it causes us to start to view sex as “dirty” and “forbidden.” God did not create sex to be either. I would implore you to take a good hard look at the affect this is truly having on your marriage.

I am not an expert in this matter and thankfully it is not something that has been an issue in our marriage. However, let’s not as women be naive about our husband’s struggles. Nearly all men struggle with lust, and porn just feeds that struggle. I am certainly not suggesting that every man is a closet sex addict, but I am certainly advocating that we do whatever we can to protect the sanctity of our marriages.

If this is something that you think may be a problem in your marriage head over to one of my favorite organizations helping Christians overcome their addictions XXXChurch or New Life Ministries. To read about God’s amazing grace when working through a husband’s betrayal head over here. In the end, our challenge in marriage isn’t just about having great sex, it’s to maintain a great and healthy sex life over the long haul of marriage.

Comments

  1. canearl says:

    I admire you for discussing this. I think that as Christians we need to embrace fellow Christians that are struggling with this issue- it should be no different than helping someone who’s an alcoholic or in financial trouble. They need help too. Thankfully we don’t have this problem in our marriage either, but I know enough to know that we both always have to be on guard.

  2. Jessia says:

    Well done! Your last sentence says it quite well.
    Praise God my marriage is free of all that trash.

  3. I’d like to point out that porn can be more than dirty videos and sex tapes. A lot of women read books that contain graphic sex. I read a lot of romance novels as a teenager that were loaded with sex. And then there was Cosmopolitan magazine. The books and magazines gave me a completely misguided idea of what sex, intimacy, and even love are supposed to be, which led to a lot of problems for me as I began to date and then married. I feel that this is actually a huge problem that effects women on a large scale, and it’s a subject I once hoped to research and write about.

  4. Once upon a time we went through the affects of porn in our marriage. Thank Jesus that through counseling and a TON of prayer, my husband now uses that season of his life to reach out to other guys and shares his story of struggles, and as a result, several guys open up about their struggles and he’s able to help them. It was no cup of tea though, let me tell you. Porn is very, very destructive, not only to the one looking at it, but to the spouse too. Thanks for this post!!

  5. SAHMmy Says says:

    Perfect timing–I’ll be linking this to my How to Stay Married series kickoff article on Monday if that’s OK! I totally agree: pornography has NO place in marriage!

  6. kerry says:

    Agree whole-heartedly. I think it’s probably more of a problem in the Christian community than we think. The more I get closer to different women in my life the more I find this to be a problem (both Christian and non). I pray for my husband that he does not succumb to this temptation.

  7. Well said. Pornography is addictive and can actually change your brain chemistry. There’s just no need for it at all, ever! How many lives have been devastated by pornography? It’s so sad! I am so glad that you wrote about this, because I fear that some couples who abstained from sex until marriage have a “free for all” mentality when it comes to sex post-marriage. Pornography is a dangerous, slippery slope and should be avoided by everyone (men and women!)

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