Top Ten Crazy Things Heard in the Diaper Diary House The Past Few Days


Alternately titled: Longest blog title ever. Alternate-Alternate title: I am ready for some boring.

  1. “Mama, I don’t want to get married. I really don’t want to have to share a bed. Do I have to share a bed or can we have bunk beds?”- Lily, age 7
  2. “MOM, Lily won’t let me play with her belly button!!!!”- Hannah, age 4
  3. “Have you seen the remote?”- Hubby to me a full 4 days after we got a new one off EBay because we lost the first one. I hate to blame Silas, but he loves to hide things. *it still hasn’t been found
  4. “It looks like he has a double ear infection with a sinus infection. It also looks like he is getting his molars and his canines as well.”- Doctor regarding Silas after 4 days of a fever.
  5. “Come on kids, let’s go out and enjoy this weather. Get your bike helmets”- Hubby at noon on Saturday.
  6. “We are almost home from Chicago but we can only go 20 miles an hour because of the ice storm.”- My parents at 5 pm on Sunday.
  7. “I really can’t handle it if school is cancelled tomorrow.”- Me last night before bedtime
  8. “School is cancelled”- Me this morning when I checked my email at 5 am because my poor sick son had woken up.
  9. “If you saw me out and about today keep in mind it was a snow day and I had 2 sick kids. I have not, I repeat have not, ‘let myself go’ ahem.”- My tweet and Facebook status update today. Because seriously. It was NOT pretty.
  10. Cheating and throwing the question back to you. What crazy things have been going on at your house lately?
This post is linked up to Top Ten Tuesday at Oh Amanda.


  1. my youngest insists on licking me and the more i ask him to stop, the more he wants to lick me. i have seen despicable me no less than 14 times in 2 days. it was funny the first 4 times. david needs to run and since he really can’t do it outside, i watch him run circles in the great room until i’m about to hurl because it makes me dizzy. i could go on but i don’t want to flood your comment page. :)

  2. What I said to my 3 yo daughter who is sometimes potty training: “Is that poop on your finger?”
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  3. “Put the Cheetos away, it’s 8:30 in the morning.”

    “I don’t care if you put applesauce on your Orange Chicken, just as long as you eat it.”

    Both said to my 6yo daughter.
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  4. My husband was walking around like a zombie last night, complaining about how tired and sick he was. I took him for his word and handled most of the household chores throughout the evening. An hour or two later he approached me and said he’d discovered his problem…he’d taken NyQuil instead of DayQuil when he’d come home from work.
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    • Oh my word, Nyquil makes me crazy. I swear it is makes me hallucinate. I can’t imagine taking it during the day!! How funny!!!

      • I hallucinate on Nyquil!!!! No one ever believes me but I could have sworn there was someone standing in my doorway when I took it. Nope, not a soul in my house but my parents and brother who were not sleeping anymore due to my screaming. I have not touched a drop of Nyquil in 12 years. It is of the devil. And that totally sounds like something my husband would do, and that is precisely why I love him so much!

  5. lol kids can say the funniest things!
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  6. Bunk beds? That would be PERFECT for our house these days! Since Mark works nights, we don’t sleep at the same time. And that makes weekend nights feel a little CROWDED!
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  7. My mom yesterday when checking my daughter’s hair, “Oh Cindy, the lice is back. It’s everywhere. Look at all these eggs!!”
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    • Oh man, we have BEEN there. It is so awful. I would not wish lice on my worst enemy. So sorry Cindy!!

      • Having been through this years ago, I have a product that was a life-saver! No toxic shampoo’s to use, which is even better! Epilidy makes a product called the RobiComb. It is an eletrocic lice comb which sends off a high pitched buzzing noise. When it catches a louse, the buzzing stops! You brush it out of the comb and continue with the rest of the head.
        While it is time consuming (I used it twice a day for two weeks), I didn’t have to use those harmful shampoo’s on my childrens head!
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  8. Last week I had a sinus infection that put me down for three days

    At the same time of my sinus infection, my son had two abscess and had 4 teeth pulled in one week, two days apart

    My other son has strep this week

    I got stuck in the snow about 1/4 from my house yesterday

    My daughter accidentally hit my wife in the eye with a cup, and now she looks like she’s been in a fight. They will blame the husband. Won’t look good for the preacher. lol!

    My wife and I counseled a couple on Valentine’s day – they still might get divorced. We’re pretty rotten counselors, I guess, huh?

    We had a $500 gas bill

    I performed a service a month ago and have not received the honorarium yet.

  9. My son said on Friday–Mom come look I gotta SHOW you something(terror striking here). He had his mattress propped up & was climbing it with a rope–that’s my wordless Wednesday post for tomorrow. Saturday decided to make meals for a friend(evil laugh) who is on crutches. Nibbled a bit of the sausage while making quiche. Sunday morning food poisoning struck from the sausage. Managed to call her & say DON’T eat the quiche. Sigh.
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  10. When talking to the kids about prayer the other night, my youngest asked me what I often pray for. I told him that I pray that my boys will grow up to love the Lord and be happy with their lives. I pray that God will bless them each one day with wives who are faithful in their walks with the Lord and complete their lives. I pray they will be blessed with the kind of kids that God blessed me with.

    His reply was, “Well mom, as long as you are praying for a good wife for me, can you also pray that she is pretty as well?”

  11. Nikki says:


    My son is nearly 3 going on……. well. enough said. Here are 5 things I uttered last week:

    1, “We pee in the potty, not behind the chair.”
    2. “I’m sorry Elmo won’t talk to you through the TV. Why don’t you go get the Elmo from your room and talk to him instead.”
    3. “You need to get down. We don’t jump off the top of the sofa.”
    4. “Your toothbrush is a brush for your teeth. We don’t brush anything else with it. We use a washcloth there.” (as I am tossing the toothbrush in the trash)
    5. “Please don’t bite the shopping cart. That’s icky!”

    And as I was taking away his TV watching privileges for the day yesterday I caught myself thinking,
    “Wow. This really does hurt me more than it hurts you. my parents were right.” :)

    please send chocolate…until then:

    To even things out, here’s 5 things he said to me last week:

    1. “Mom, you are tall, but you are not as big as I am”
    2. “I’m sorry I peed in my pants, mom. It’s really hard to be a big boy all the time”
    3. “Mom, you’re my best friend. I love you more than fruit snacks.”
    4. “I think we both could use a playdate today mom. what do you think?”
    5. “Dad’s the tickler, mom. You’re the hugger. Don’t tickle. Just give me a hug!”

    • Ok you need a blog!! Everything about this is HILARIOUS!! I am especially loving number 4 in the things you had to say. Oh kids!!!

    • LOL that was WAY funny!!
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    • I love these!!!! Especially the toothbrush one and how he loves you more than fruitsnacks! You must be doing something right mom! I walked into the bathroom yesterday just in time to find my 18mo old scrubbing the inside of the toilet bowl with his big brother’s toothbrush. To top it off, big brother forgot to flush the toilet full of his “big boy” potty. Special. Tossed the toothbrush but can’t shake the that nagging question- was this the first time that happened????? =)

  12. Jennifer B says:

    My 3 yo while watching Super Readers, “Mom there’s a princess P” “Is there a Princess Poo?”

    • A completely legitimate question!!

    • I’m curious as to what Princess Poo would look like!? What would her superpower be!? Bet she shoots super letters made from toilet paper out of a toilet paper tube that can wipe your tush and help you spell all at the same time :)
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  13. I had to keep one of my toddlers from touching the cat’s butt like it was a doorbell.

    He’d poke it with his finger and say “bing bong”!

    This was years ago, so I should remind him about it.
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  14. I need to be better about writing these things down!

    My favorite from my (nearly) 3 yr. old a few days ago:

    While singing, “He’s got the wind and rain in His hands…”

    She suddenly stops singing & exclaims, “Da win an da wain? Why do dey say dat? Why duz He haf da win an da wain in Hid hans?”

    Me: Well, they say that b/c God is in control of even the wind & the rain. It’s like singing that He’s the boss of everything, even the wind & the rain.

    She, clearly surprised, responds: “But I tought YOU wer da boss!”

    or maybe today’s takes the cake:
    Me: “Honey, why are you wiggling so much in your chair? You need to sit still and finish your breakfast.”
    Her: “I’m dust tyin’ to wiggle da poop out, Mom.”

    :-) The things kids say!
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  15. I love this post. I am also really enjoying reading what everyone else says.
    This past week I have been repeating.
    STOP PEEING ON MY COUCH!! I don’t pee on your stuff so don’t do it to mine. (I have been saying this to MY DOG!!)

  16. Melissa says:

    This morning when handing Joseph his clothes to put on, he said “underwear….man, I can’t believe you’re gonna make me wear underwear on a snow day.”

  17. “Sorry, honey. Boys are daddies and cannot make milkies.” said by me to my son who was pretending to breastfeed a doll.
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  18. My daughter today after her 3rd tantrum, “Mommy, sometimes I’m grumpy and I need someone to calm me down.”
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  19. From my 3yo – “Mom, Hannah’s pooping in the bathtub again!” *Sigh* It is much too common an event.
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    • My middle daughter used to poop in the tub nearly every time. This post comes to mind….. http://thediaperdiaries.net/thats-an-odd-place-to-keep-your-pickles/

  20. Renee says:

    Words I thought I would never have to say as a Mom – “Tyler stop peeing on your sister!!”
    Words I thought I’d never say as a wife – “Shut the door! You are going to pee on your son! “

  21. Joules says:

    Hahaha, you are cracking me up! When did snow go from awesome to totally lame? When we become parents, of course. Lol
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  22. My daughter loves that she can see herself in our stainless steel appliances, so in an attempt to distract her from climbing on me while I was chopping vegetables, I said “Honey, why don’t you go wave to the baby in the oven.” OOPS. Not quite what I meant. Glad no one else heard – like Child Protective Services.
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  23. I am too tired right now to remember crazy things that were said, but there were some. But I feel better that someone else lost things and keeps doing it. Whatever the reason. My youngest used to hide things too, especially in his toy truck that held all his stash. He even had my thyroid meds in there once and I had to get a refill b/c I didn’t know about his stash then.

    Anyhoo…hubby left Klean Kanteen bottle in bathroom at work and someone stole it, so I was really angry about spending money on another one. I am so convicted now. I should be mad about who probably stole it. Ugh. Hard to face one’s heart sometimes, isn’t it?
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