After Sam, we decided our family was complete. Actually we just decided that from now on, if we were going to add to our family, the growing the baby part would be outsourced. Which is awesome because I really suck at that part.
So while it is nice to finally give a go at losing the baby weight, there is some baby weight that I am having a hard time parting with. The baby weight that comes in the form of a squishy, cuddly baby.
I am a baby person. I can’t get enough of them. And although the thought of sleeping again is appealing, I am having a hard time wrapping my brain around never holding one of my own again.
This year we have gotten rid of diapers. We have gotten rid of the pacifier. And this weekend, we got rid of the crib. Yep. Silas is in a “big boy” bed. Tonight after he fell asleep I went in to check on him and there was my little boy. In a huge bed. I swear to you I am going to be that creepy mom in that creepy book who creeps in her kid’s rooms at night after they fall asleep.
In general it is a good thing of course. And we don’t know what foster care will hold. Maybe that crib will find itself full again. But in the meantime I can’t help but be a little sad. And for tonight, I just might sneak into each of their rooms one more time and breathe in a little hoping to catch the last lingering scents of my babies.