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The Times, They Are A Changin'

  In a few weeks my life is about to change in a major way. My oldest is starting Kindergarten. Full day Kindergarten, 3 days a week. You may recognize me that first day. I will be the one who is in a puddle on the floor.

We really struggled with the decision to send Lily to Kindergarten this year. She has a fall birthday and the trend around here leans more toward pre-K for fall birthdays. However we had her tested, consulted many experts (and people posing as experts), and spent time praying about our decision. We really felt strongly that this was the right choice and I was so excited for her to go. We have chosen to send our children to Christian school and found one that could not be a better fit for our family if we designed it ourselves. So I have been gearing up for this year and all the new things that Lily will be experiencing.

I have talked to Lily many times over the summer about school and how exciting it will be to start a new school and go to Kindergarten. When I told her she would be there all day her eyes got really wide and she kept asking questions about what that meant. Yes, you will eat lunch there. Yes, you will be there for afternoon quiet time (which in the Diaper Diary household is the hour you leave mommy alone when you are no longer napping, but mommy still is). Yes, you will be there 3 whole days. She looked at me and said, “Can we stop talking about this now mommy, cause I feel like I might cry.” Oh, my outgoing child who lives for all things school, I thought, you will love it.

We got a letter back in May telling us who Lily’s teacher would be and what days she would be going to school. It also told us that we should expect a letter mid August that gave us all the info we would need to start school. It came last week. I opened it up and paged through the many sheets and saw there was a letter to Lily from her teacher. I handed it to her to read while I looked through the other stuff. She got really excited about everything in it. “Mommy, I get to bring a stuffed animal, Mommy I get to bring a snack, Mommy I get my own locker.”

I, however, had to leave the room so she couldn’t see my tears. I have been so worried about her being excited and not sad, I forgot about how sad I would be. And that letter made everything so real. I realized how much I will miss my little helper when I am trying to make lunch and Hannah needs entertaining. I will miss all the silly conversations we have in the car while we are running errands. I will miss our afternoons while Hannah is sleeping and Lily curls up next to me on the couch to read “Little House on the Prairie.”

I fear I have wished too many of these moments away when I have been tired or overwhelmed or frustrated. And now I wish I could have some of them back so I could cherish them the way they deserved to be cherished. Whenever someone asks Lily if she is excited about starting Kindergarten, her answer is always the same. “Yeah, I am excited, but I am really going to miss my mommy. But she says I get be with her 4 days and go to school only 3 so that makes me happy.” That makes me happy too, and I am going to do my best to cherish every moment of those 4 days cause next year I only get 2. And Lily, I will miss you too.

*This post was written as part of MamaBlogga’s August Group Writing Project. For more info or to participate head over here.

Comments

  1. The year really does fly by, next thing you know it’ll be Summer again and you’ll be wondering what to do to fill your days.

    Chars last blog post..Happy Birthday Clare!

  2. I have no idea why, but this post made me cry. I guess that’s because in a year or two, I will face the same thing with my daughter.

  3. thanks Jill, I really needed to get my Cheerios soggier my CRYING IN THEM this morning!!
    :(
    that was sweet.

  4. What’s sad is…you stop feeling that way after the 1st kiddo.

    My second started K last week & rode the bus. I didn’t shed one tear. Not even when the bus driver forgot to let her off & I had to flag the bus down. She didn’t shed a tear either.

    I’ve got one more that will start in a few years. Maybe I’ll cry then.

    mandys last blog post..My kid likes to wipe herself

  5. And that is one of my selfish reasons for wanting to homeschool. I heard you cry when the baby of the family goes off to school too.

    Marys last blog post..God has a sense of humor.

  6. Have you heard this song yet?
    Your post reminded me of it, and get some kleenex before you listen!

    Dawn ;0)s last blog post..Through the lens I see…

  7. Rachel says:

    Aww, what a wonderful post! Good luck, Mom! Thanks for encouraging us to take a little more notice of those special moments before they are gone!

    Rachels last blog post..The Simple Woman’s Daybook – Take 1

  8. Andrea@Cup of Jesus says:

    I’m tearing up for you!

    Next year my BABY will be going to Kindergarten and then I don’t know what I will do with the house all to myself. These years go by way too fast…if only we realized that in the midst of the tantrums, the midnight crying, the clinginess, etc.

    Andrea@Cup of Jesuss last blog post..Bloggy Coffee Break

  9. oh, what a great post and great reminder to me to cherish every little moment i have. my oldest goes to kindergarten next fall….she is ready, I’m not!

    Natalies last blog post..Tell All Tuesday – Week 19

  10. Courtney says:

    awww, seeee, bookie???!? Yes, this is going to be hard for you. Hang in there. She will be fine. Remember, I am a December baby and I was a year ahead and look how I turned out! If you say that is not a good example, I will….

  11. Barb VB says:

    I still have those feelings and Ty is my second one off to school. I asked him if he is excited and he said no, he much rather stay home and be with his sister. I asked if he would miss me and he said no, just Malia. Gotta love him.

  12. Nicole says:

    I am finding myself wishing away some of my day with my Little Man – not sure if it is terrible two or just finding the new balance with little sister in the mix. Feel free to come over and take him if you are feeling like you are missing out on anything.

    I will, in the mean time, work hard on not hating the person I am becoming to my son. Love to threaten to get him to do anything.

    BTW – finished the rest of the food you brought the other day for lunch – it was sooo yummy!

  13. i totally understand!! i just left that situation with a move and will miss terribly the 3-day/week program. i am so glad you choose that for her. it will be a blessing for both of you! so funny, i just wrote about our situation yesterday! letting go is hard!

    staceys last blog post..Gremlins stole my pillow!

  14. I love this post. You are a good mommy, and how sweet and precious is Lily.

  15. this almost made me cry. and my baby is only 1!!

    Erin Gs last blog post..Lezak Fries

  16. So far I think it’s easier to wish away the moments the “first” time you go through them–when your oldest is going through a time that’s tough for you (or just annoying on that particular afternoon!). With the second, they seem to go by so fast that I don’t have time to wish them away (other than the daily fussy period, of course).

    Thanks so much for participating, and good luck to you both on the first day!

    Jordan (MamaBlogga)s last blog post..Change: a constant of motherhood

  17. This line really resonated for me: I fear I have wished too many of these moments away when I have been tired or overwhelmed or frustrated. And now I wish I could have some of them back so I could cherish them the way they deserved to be cherished.

    I applaud you for not letting a single moment slip away, uncherished. I will try to do the same.

    charrettes last blog post..Leaving Normal

  18. Ursula says:

    My son has been in Early Intervention and here at age 3 they transition into a preschool program on a local school campus. Full day, M-F. On the bus.

    We did get to visit the class and my son got to play with the kids while my husband and I asked our questions and met the teacher and aides. Oh my-when the final “verdict” came through I held my own in the meeting, then burst into tears on the way home.

    And every time I thought about it. When you are the commander of your child’s medical care and day-to-day, that is a tough baton to pass.

    It does get easier.

    My son had terrible days when we did morning drop offs, but loved riding the bus home. So I let him ride the bus to/from school and (can you hear the tearing of my heart right now?) it took a few morning runs to get him to leave me with a smile, happily off to school and his friends and his beloved teachers.

    I’m now sad because next month we are moving about a 1/2 hour away, and I really love his class.

    Good luck.
    (here by way of GWP)

    Ursulas last blog post..Let’s find a cure

  19. Heather H says:

    How are you holdin’ up today?

    Heather Hs last blog post..Baby, Baby, Baby

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