The Challenge Week 3- How Illuminating!

1-cor-challenge  If you get time, you really must go back and read through the comments for the previous weeks. People are posting some great things!! You ladies are ingenious and their are some happy hubbies out there. I love your ideas and enthusiasm. I confess, this week’s challenge is a really hard one for me, but I think we all need to give it a shot. I know you ladies are totally up for a challenge so we are taking it up a notch this time. Don’t be nervous, no excuses….are you ready?

If you are new to The Challenge, please start here first.

Last weeks challenge was a good reminder about how much of a factor self image is in our marital sex lives. Let’s just admit that there isn’t a whole lot sexy about the post baby body. A flabby tummy, stretch marks, saggy boobs, the list goes on. And I don’t care how skinny, well endowed, stretch mark free you are, most women have a laundry list of things they don’t like about their naked body.

I once heard a speaker at a marital conference say, “When wives are naked they are thinking, ‘Oh my gosh, I am so fat (flat, ugly, flabby, etc).’, while their husbands are thinking, ‘Holy cow my wife is naked and I get to have sex!’”

Seriously ladies we need to cut ourselves some slack and give our hubbies some credit. I will admit I am shocked sometimes that my hubby still finds me sexy, but for some reason he does. I would bet a large amount of cash that your hubby does also (wait, find you attractive, not me…that would be very wrong).  Do you know what a blessing that is? Are you taking it for granted?

So this week’s challenge, I will admit may be difficult for many of us. Your first two weeks were pretty easy though so let’s step it up a bit. Ready? Have sex with the lights on. Most women I know typically prefer it to be so dark they can’t even see their hand in front their face, but men are visual creatures. They were created by God to be that way. So let’s put aside our own insecurities and enjoy our husband’s enjoyment of us.

Now this doesn’t have to mean harsh fluorescent spotlights, you can use a dimmer. But the key is, he needs to be able to see you. No hiding under the covers ladies. And be kind to yourself. If you are hating yourself, you are going to have a hard time enjoying yourself. Jennifer Aniston on the cover of GQ is a bunch of airbrushed hooey. That is not a standard I intend to hold myself to and I don’t think your hubby does either. Get your “I am super sexy” mindset on and have fun with this.

Check back next Monday for your weekly challenge. Are you in?


  1. I’m in! Actually, this one is pretty easy for me. I’m proud to say the lights are usually on for us. Not all of them (cripes, too bright) but a dim corner one. We actually turn the lights OFF to spice it up a bit!

    Esthers last blog post..This Week’s Top Posts

  2. I’m all for this! I’ve grown fond of this, actually.

    It may take some getting used to, but well worth it.

    I’m enjoying this series. Although I haven’t jumped out there with a post of my own, please know I am fully participating. :)

    This is such an important topic! I applaud you for this!

    Rena Gunthers last blog post..Desperately Seeking Blog Makeover

  3. I am in! I think! Well, I hope so… I go to the gym tomorrow, so I usually feel a bit better about the muffin top after a good workout :)

    Courtney from Mommie Blogss last blog post..simply nesting saturday

  4. I’m in this week!
    I’m actually not to bad in this department either, although my problem isn’t actually having the lights on, it’s being COMFORTABLE with my self & feeling sexy. So that’s what I’m working on.

    Stephanies last blog post..The Challenge! Week 3

  5. *siiiiiiiigh*
    I’ve been feeling kinda ‘already on top of it’ about the previous two weeks, but I think I need to work on this one. We usually have some soft light, like candles, but…..
    I dunno, sometimes I’m comfortable with my body, sometimes not. Usually depending on my emotion and whether or not I’m PMS, lol. But, I think I need to trust my husband more even when I DON’T feel pretty.

    I also need to renew a challenge I made to myself a few months ago (and flopped at today, and manage to forget a few times each month….) When my husband says I’m pretty, sexy, beautiful, etc DON’T ARGUE. Saying “but I don’t FEEL pretty” is okay with him, but I shouldn’t overuse that, even.
    But he really doesn’t like it at all when I argue about how I look, he’s says he is the expert on me, I am not. (I have to agree, he is probably right.) AND, sometimes I cringe when I think that, everytime I contradict him in this, I’m (in a roundabout way) telling him that I think he’s wrong, I don’t trust him perfectly, and that I think I know better.

    Putting it that way really makes me think.
    So, this challenge to myself is renewed, and I’d like to challenge the rest of ya’ll out there: if you’re husband wants to think you’re sexy, embrace it [and him] :)

  6. Andrea @ Mommy Snacks.net says:

    We’re actually OK with this one. Well, honestly, when you have kids..um..you kinda get “it” in whenever you can. And, that is sometimes during the day while they are occupied or napping and there is no need to turn ’em off!

    Lovin’ this so far! I even took my hubs to Frederick’s with me last night and explained why I was doing it..for him and b/c Paul told us to and all (which is my hubs’ name too so that was kinda funny :-)

  7. This could be interesting…My husband is the one who has issues with the light. But he also likes when I take control of things (is that TMI?) so we’ll see how he reacts to leaving the lamp on…

    lauras last blog post..Living Story

  8. Andrea@Under Grace & Over Coffee says:

    I’m with Esther – this is the norm for us, too! Early on in our marriage, my husband confessed he liked it better with the lights on. I let him have his way! ;)

    Andrea@Under Grace & Over Coffees last blog post..Have a look at my week

  9. Good grief woman. Couldn’t you have eased us into this a little bit more! But I did clean out the underwear drawer and am still making progress on the room.

    debbies last blog post..Addiction

  10. Hmmm, not sure about this one?! Love it and Hate it! I guess I have to get my ‘Sexy Me, Mindset on’…and some really cute lingerie! :)

    Kristins last blog post..HomeMaker Pro Week 2

  11. beat ya to it (go team newlywed!)

    we have canned lights in our living room that i was using to read with yesterday and… :|

    good thing the hubs needs glasses :)

    Brookes last blog post..Menu Plan Monday

  12. ruth a. stiles says:

    I don’t mind the lights and I don’t need totally darkness but a dimmer switch would be a great investment!

  13. This is already pretty much the norm for us. Without giving out too many details, the best “time” for us is during the day while the kids are at school (my husband works from home).

    This is good advice though, there was a time when I was not so keen about having the lights on or sunlight streaming in through the blinds! It took me awhile to learn that my husband “sees” me differently than see myself and he likes what he sees!

    Malias last blog post..Note to Self

  14. We like leaving a lamp over our bed on, which illuminates the room but still gives off a romantic glow. I’m like a few other posters — with the lights off is a new deal for us…which I think I may need to try. I don’t think we’ve ever had sex with the lights off, as a matter of fact…Hmm.

    Lois Lane IIs last blog post..So I have to tell you what I did Friday

  15. ok my hubby enjoyed the underwear thing but will i enjoy this? after 7 kids this is a toughie i admit!! i’ll try tho!

  16. Woo hoo! This is the most fun I’ve ever had with a challenge.
    I can deal with lights on. I like looking at my man’s face when he’s looking at me:)

    Dawns last blog post..Best Small Towns

  17. My post today sort of relates to this…getting yourself feeling like a princess and not a tired mommy…it’s so challenging isn’t it?

    Beth@Not a Bow in Sights last blog post..It’s Pumpkin Time!

  18. Light is not a problem but no covers? It’s 69 degrees in my house = frozen fingers, toes, nose, shoulders. This one will be easier in the summertime! :-)

    Pattis last blog post..Lake Area Easter Pageant CONTEST?

  19. Sara@iSass says:

    I was at Kohls this weekend and I spent $74 on things that would not be worn out of the house. It was difficult to look at that total and look at the stuff and think, geez, I could have bought some jeans and a few tops for that. But NOPE. I thought stictly for Hubby. Am I brave enough to dare wearing the stuff. It is not something I WANT to be seen in, but as you said it’s the visual for him and NOT the comfort for me. Cause I like flannel floor length…;)

  20. OK, so my new unmentionables are en route to arrive today or tomorrow! I so want to spill the beans and show him before we go away for our weekend at the end of February. It’s a good thing it’s only 30 days to go!!

    Making love with the lights on isn’t really anything new for us. Although there are the occasions in the dead of night when neither of us wants to turn on the lights…lol!

    But thank you for the reminder that my husband sees me differently than I do.

    This is such a fun challenge to participate in. I eagerly await your next post!

    Mrs. Qs last blog post..Don’t Forget…

  21. So my underwardrobe is waiting for Valentines Day – but I have been tossing raggedy stuff, and thinking about the kind of wardrobe I want to save for my hubby.

    Lights on? We always have a dimmed light on – and I don’t usually pay attention to the lighting a whole lot. For the most part, I’m not terribly inhibited. It is still surprising to me, though, when my husband just randomly looks at me and tells me I’m beautiful. It’s definitely a pleasant surprise, but I’m glad God gave them a different perspective of us!

    Debbies last blog post..Just Taking a Break

  22. This is a tough one BUT I WILL DO IT!! errr..I mean we will!!! teee heee….I know it is only funny in my head!

    Thanks for the challenges. It has been enLIGHTening! Okay, I will stop now.

    the characters last blog post..Madeleine Bella

  23. Rachel says:

    OK, I was doing good on the last two weeks. This one is a killer! I don’t WANT him to see my stretch marks/cellulite/flab etc. But you’re right, chances are his eyes will only be on the boobs, so I guess I’m good to go. :)

    Rachels last blog post..The Brain, It’s-a Mush

  24. Ooooookay. Hmmmm. I have to admit, I’d feel a tad bit more sexy if I didn’t have a belly that looks like it was drawn on by a 2 year old. But it sure doesn’t seem to bother my husband. Lights on…eyes closed…that should work!

    Jenny 867-5309s last blog post..You know it’s my birthday..NANANANANA!!!!

  25. Like a few others have said it’s actually more exciting for us when the lights are off because we always have them on. I think the point is to try a new lighting or, dare I say a new place, that is slightly outside your comfort zone. You might find that it’s quite freeing/exhilarating ;-)

    Nickis last blog post..What Am I Going To Do With These Kids?

  26. I’m thinking this should be further down the road, are you sure it comes right after pretty panties? Does a strong night light count? I’m going to try. But my eyes will be closed, okay?

    We are THAT familys last blog post..And This is Where I Give Away Something Really BIG!

  27. Kristen says:

    I am IN! I know my husband loves when the lights are on so I am all for giving him what he likes. ; )

    Perhaps this will give me an excuse to buy that new lamp I’ve had my eyes on! I can tell him I bought it in the name of sex. Not just because it is a trendy piece!!! : )

    Kristens last blog post..Even To Your Old Age

  28. This is definitely one of my worst problems, and it’s a rough one. I’ll work on it this week.

    Playful Professionals last blog post..Help Me With the Hills- It’s a Matter of Life and Death

  29. Do several candles count? :) We don’t have dimmer switches, but hubby usually light two or three candles….

    Nancys last blog post..Not Me! Monday

  30. This is good. Easy enough…especially with the new MATCHING SET that I purchased last week… :)

  31. Okey-doke! We usually have a corner lamp on or a bunch of candles. Having the overhead light on seems kind of harsh for whoever’s, ahem, looking up.

    Minnesotamoms last blog post..The Only Survivor Was My Hands

  32. Mandy says:

    We did this last night, So awesome. Just looking into my husbands eyes and the being able to see the pleasure on his face made me realize he doesn’t care about my rolls and chunky thighs. Such a good challenge :)

  33. Tanya says:

    I have no problems with this one either, the 1st challenge so far is the most difficult. My husband buys sexy panties (boy shorts) that make me comfortable and sexy. I like to watch him enjoy me even if I don’t enjoy me. Thank you for the challenges.

  34. it was fun, being able to see how happy he was, I couldn’t really feel uncomfortable :)

    Lanas last blog post..8 month anniversary

  35. On Sunday’s after the kids are down for naps we actually try to have sex in… the daylight gasp! But we also had sex with the lights on last night and it was very fun!

    Anns last blog post..Tackle It Tuesday

  36. We like the candles…but lights on or off is not a problem for us – either way!!

    I’m so glad you’re getting all of us to think and talk about sex. We need to keep our marriages strong!!

    Kelleys last blog post..Good Friends

  37. I’m in, I don’t mind the lights one. Just usually don’t feel all that sexy. Maybe my challenge should be keeping my glasses on, I usually take them off so I can’t see myself all that well.

    Veronicas last blog post..Changes

  38. Well, since I first accepted this challenge, things are getting more interesting! I never really thought of things quite like you put it though. Thank you for bringing “things to light” on this. Hubby has loved the cleaning in our room, I put out a few more candles, got him involved in picking out some new undies (he even started looking through his drawer to see what he might have that he needs to replace (YES!), but the lights on thing is something that I’ve never been comfortable with. Since the second week, he’s requesting the lights on so I can model my new things, and I’ve even found a pair of mouse ears (like for a costume) that I wore and told him I was his Playmate! He loved that! Thanks for the challenge.

    Lynnets last blog post..Random Picture Challenge

  39. So in!

  40. um. wow. this one is gonna be a toughie for me, too! i’m gonna go for it though – even though i’m a little late this week!

    Katy Lins last blog post..~ My Husband Rocks! ~ The moment I knew . . .

  41. Ladies, Have a glass of red wine!

  42. I just learned a couple of weeks ago that when a man looks at himself in the mirror he focuses on this best features and that when women look in the mirror they focus on their least favorite. I try to remember that when my husband looks me up and down. He is only looking at the “good” parts!!

    Bridgettes last blog post..Contour Changing Pad

  43. I’m coming in a little late in the game, but just had to comment. I was surprised when my husband told me he found my body sexier than before I had our daughter. When I asked him why, he said because now he knew what it was capable of. I thought that was pretty cool…

    Rachels last blog post..Redemption

  44. Ashley Taylor says:

    Again I am behind but in case it’s not posted here already I thought I should throw out the idea of colored lights. I have colored light bulbs in every color of the rainbow. They are less like a spotlight than the overhead light so you don’t feel like you are a specimen. We like blue and green the best. Orange is a little weird though. Hope this helps someone else too!

  45. When people used to tell me “you are only as old/young as you feel”, I used to ignore it as one of those things old people say. A word of advice from a mom whose kids are in mid school. Stay positive- think sexy. He does and don’t stand in his way. Confidence is sexy! So you use a dimmer for now, next you do it under a tree in the shade then you go for it on the beach. Do you really think you are getting younger? Get a tan, think sexy, dress sexy stop making excuses. Is it easy – heck no. Is having a baby easy- heck no. Enjoy it while you can- OK?

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