The Challenge Week 11- Let's Talk About Sex Baby

1-cor-challenge We are officially past the halfway point on our little challenge to improve our sex lives. Are you all still with me? I hope so. This week will be a little bit of a toughy for some of you, but I think it will be well worth the effort. And on a side note, I just made a Salt N Pepa channel on my Pandora radio and have been so happy with my little walk down memory lane. 90s hip-hop was so bad yet so good all at the same time (if you are wondering how I landed on that little tangent, check out the title; again, if you don’t know what I am talking about, you are too young to be having sex!!).

This week, your challenge is to have a conversation with your husband asking him what you could do to improve your sex life. How scary is that? Does your hubby know you are taking The Challenge? Has he even noticed if you are? I will confess even as the “challenger”, I have not participated in every week. Life just gets in the way sometimes. Maybe this is the week you tell him about it and see if there is anything on the list he particularly wishes you would have participated in. If you are an A student in your weekly assignments, then is there anything we haven’t discussed that would make his nights a little brighter?

The hubby and I don’t usually give each other gifts for Valentine’s and anniversaries. Instead, we give the gift of time- a fancy date night, theater tickets, a weekend away, etc. We then use these times to check in with each other and see how “we” are doing. By we, I don’t mean us separately, or mommy and daddy, but hubby and wife. Often that conversation inevitably leads to how we are doing in the bedroom. Ladies, it is time for that conversation.

Now, here are the rules.

  1. Timing: If this is a painfully difficult conversation to have, probably best not to have it after a long exhausting day dealing with crabby children or a difficult job. Pick a time when you are not stressed and emotional. Preferably one where you are 50% awake.
  2. Preparation: Gear yourself up to really and truly hear what the hubby has to say. Hold your defensiveness and excuses (well, I’m tired and you never help me, and I got fat…). Just listen with an open mind.
  3. Ground Rules: Whatever is suggested must be biblical and consensual. This might be obvious, but some woman misunderstand what being submissive means. If the by some odd chance, the hubby suggests something that there is no way on earth you would feel comfortable with or it an outright sin, then the answer is of course no way. If he just suggests something a bit out of the ordinary that might be slightly out of your comfort zone, give it a try. Just make sure you keep the lines of communication open.

I know this is a hard challenge for many of you. If it is too scary, you can always pretend you were too busy to read it. I won’t know either way (but Jesus will…I’m just sayin’). We’ve come this far together ladies, I know our marriages will be better for it.


  1. I totally giggled at your “I won’t know either way- but Jesus will…” comment.
    You are too funny :)

    Ok, now off I go to have a conversation with the hubby…

    SimplySaras last blog post..Menu Plan Mar 20-26

  2. hubby and i do have this conversation pretty regularly i believe and at this very moment we are in need of some serious US time…My dad died suddenly and I spent a week in Phoenix alone (well with my brothers and stepmom who obviously didnt share my want or need to be present) then a 4 day trip to the coast to see my father in law…we have had no time alone in at least 16 days….tonight is a good time for that…


    Kellys last blog post..my dad

  3. the hubs knows about it and looks forward to Mondays! maybe i can cound initiating the conversation as foreplay?

    (but i must confess we waited till last night to do last weeks)

    Brookes last blog post..Awareness Day

  4. husband and i just had this type of talk last night. we are usually pretty open about this stuff, though have been struggling a bit lately, so i have been eager to get things back to normal. and our talk went well. i also just recently started the challenge and did week one. i love my bedroom now, it’s so nice and clean. i hope i can keep it up, it really feels like an oasis for us now!!!
    THANK YOU for challenging us this way. i believe intimacy is such an important part in a marriage.

    Naomis last blog post..twilight on DVD – FINALLY!!!

  5. My husband’s so excited about Monday’s it’s ridiculous! HA! Thanks for the challenge this week…

    Bobbis last blog post..Frugal Friday- Tissue Holder…cute!

  6. This one is a breeze. Hubby and I have very open communication & have discussed this many times… no problem.

    Good challenge.

    Christy Kleins last blog post..Getting My Act Together

  7. OK…so since I didn’t get the connection between the band and your title am I REALLY too young to be having sex? (Is 29 young?) Or is it just because I live under a rock? lol! Well, regardless of my age, I have a certificate that says I am allowed to make love with my hubby :)

    Taking time to talk about our love life is something that we struggle with. Thanks for the challenge. We’ll see how it goes.

    Mrs. Qs last blog post..Family Room Sneak Peaks…

  8. I’m pretty sure I’m too busy to read this one. Ha, ha.

  9. kirwin says:

    I have been looking forward to this post all week…ever since I stumbled upon your blog (via ?????) I am WAY behind, but I (we) did do the lingerie challenge last week! Thanks for the inspo!

    kirwins last blog post..Rainbows & Muffins tins

  10. I did this over the weekend when I was in Dubai. It’s always easier to talk about sex (and try new things as a result of the conversation!) if you’re in an exotic place, away from home and the normal routine. Makes it easier to have a non-routine conversation I think. :)

    Erin Gs last blog post..Dubai or Bust!

  11. Its always good to check in on each other and see what the other is really thinking! Even if you have a good sex life it can still be a hard conversation to have.

    Here is a great post I read the other day that I thought was worth sharing:

    Wanis last blog post..Getting to know Jill Savage

  12. I just now am “tuning in” to this challenge…and I think it’s a great thing to do. Even being married less than a year it can sometimes feel like a “duty” for lack of better word

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