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The Birds and The Bees–Works For Me Wednesday

There is one aspect of parenting that will strike fear into the most fearless of parents. It is “The Talk”.

We all know we are supposed to have it at some point. But when? And how?  And can I hire someone to do it for me?

I would love for things to happen naturally (and when I was pregnant the kids did bring up some interesting questions…..), but sometimes you need to steer the conversation the way you want. And when Hannah kept asking what would happen if a girl was born with a penis (and I decided I didn’t want to get into hermaphrodites) I decided we needed to go back to my old trusty friends.

sex book

We bought the Learning About Sex books when Lily was five. They present the basic things that a child would need to know at the age the book is recommended for. When we bought them they weren’t gender specific but the new versions are. The books are:

    These books are written from a biblical perspective and allow us to ease into the subject at a pace that is comfortable for everyone involved. It opens the dialogue up and then we can answer questions as they come.
    It has taken a very nerve wracking situation and made it quite doable. Well, doable with a five year old and an eight year old. Jesus will be coming back before we hit the next book right?
    Disclosure: affiliate links are used in this post

Comments

  1. THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

    I’ve been trying to figure out and when to do this and I knew there was SOMETHING that would tell me how. :) I’m putting these on my Christmas List.
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  2. Benjamin says:

    Thank you for sharing this book..Its very useful and informative..I want to have one of this..
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  3. What a great book! My 3 year old is super curious. We started talking about things a few months before I got pregnant and now that I am pregnant there are a ton of questions. Right now they are simple {thank the Lord}, but I know it won’t be too long before they become difficult to answer.

    • I used the BEST book to explain pregnancy and will have to hunt down the title for you. I loaned it out and can’t remember what it was called, but my kid’s LOVED tracking my pregnancy with it.

  4. Thank you for this! I have been trying to find books I like, and the ones I have put boys and girls together. I don’t want my SON seeing photos of girls! GACK. I will order the How You Are Changing for boys ASAP!!
    Jo-Lynne {Musings of a Housewife} recently posted…Mom Fashion | What I Wore This Week 10.26.11My Profile

    • oh that is a good point. In the younger one there hasn’t really been a need to keep them separate. But for the older books that totally makes sense.

  5. I’m totally getting these books for Piper. (and yep, I’ll use your links)
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  6. Jill, I looked at the reviews on Amazon, and one reviewer said the book does not give the biological facts of how babies are made. Is that correct?

    Maybe I’m weird, but I don’t find this an especially difficult topic. What did throw me was that when my son first asked where babies come from, after the briefest explanation he jumped to asking, “How do we make room for new people? What happens to the old ones?” and I had to explain death! But I guess it was all God’s plan because a family friend died just a few months later, and Nicholas was all prepared feeling comfortable with the idea.

    I also was flabbergasted when we heard about how the ancient Mayans used to control their population by throwing all the young girls in a sinkhole (yikes!), and Nicholas (then 5 years old) said, “I guess that’s because that medicine that stops moms from having babies wasn’t invented yet.” I had no idea he knew there was such a thing–and then it turned out he learned it from “The Simpsons”! I felt like the worst parent ever! But at least he wasn’t at all distressed by the idea.
    ‘Becca recently posted…Four Weeks of Pesco-Vegetarian DinnersMy Profile

    • Well I am only through the first two books and so far we are at the “when two people love each other very much” explanation. Although it does mention that a sperm comes from daddy and an egg from mommy. I guess I would be shocked if that were true because the books have been so good so far.

      • So, if this series is their only source of info, kids are not going to know anything about intercourse until sometime after age NINE?? That seems really late to me. My parents say I wanted lots of detail on how the sperm and egg are joined when I was TWO. My son has not been quite so inquisitive about that, but he’s asked tons of questions about how the baby gets out of the mother.

        My observation from kids I’ve known (as a kid and as an adult) is that those who get the basic facts of procreation at an early age, like before 6, tend to take them in stride and be pretty calm about the whole thing; but those who are kept in the dark until later (whether because they happened not to ask or because their parents refused to answer questions) tend to be freaked out by the facts and to feel that sex and the opposite sex’s organs are disgusting and horrifying. That can have lingering effects on their adult sexuality.

        At the least, I’d say parents using a book that doesn’t explain the biological facts should be prepared for the POSSIBILITY that their kids will ask about those facts, and be ready to answer their questions.
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        • Well that was part of my point with the post. These books are a jumping off point for me. I will NEVER not answer a question honestly with my children, but my daughter is 8 now and she hasn’t asked more than what this book offers and she is RIDICULOUSLY inquisitive. So I am content with that. We make it VERY clear that there is nothing unnatural or gross about our bodies and that although boys and girls are different there is nothing weird about that. I was raised very similarly and have no hangups. At least none that I know of…… (and this comes from a women who has written volumes about sex on her blog ;))

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