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The Accident

mom It only takes a second. It only takes one stupid foolish move, one foolish decision. We all make them every day, but once you are responsible for a little life those stupid mistakes are infinitely more stupid.

When Lily was about 4 I took her to an outdoor play area. I had one eye on her while I was chatting it up with the other mommies. She was in a huge treehouse so it was hard to see her all the time, but she would pop out here and there and I really felt like I had an eye on her the whole time she was playing. So I continue chatting right up to the point that a mom walks over with Lily in her arms asking me if this was my child. I could not believe she had gotten out of the treehouse without me seeing her. My heart was in my throat as I thought of what might have happened.

When Hannah was a baby she was in the tub. The hubby was bathing her and she stood up and slipped. A slippery baby is hard to catch. Hannah’s cheek caught the corner of the tub and she got quite the gash. So much so that her cheek had to be glued back together. She still bears a little bit of a scar. A constant reminder that accidents happen to even the best of parents.

This weekend was another awful reminder of how a foolish decision as a mom can have serious consequences. Silas was fussing and I was running late. I had him in his bouncy seat while I got ready and he continued to fuss. So to calm him down I set his bouncy on bathroom counter. And mind you when I did it I thought, this is probably stupid. But I did it anyway. Cause I was late. And impatient.

I don’t have to tell you what happened. The bouncy tipped and Silas fell face first to the hard tile bathroom floor. And in that moment I was a failure as a mom. It didn’t matter that I had loved, fed, clothed and snuggled the heck out of that baby every day since he had been born. I was a failure for making a split second stupid decision.

Thankfully he is OK. Oddly enough he didn’t have a bump, a bruise or a scratch on him. I have no idea how that is possible. He didn’t even cry that long. But I was humbled once again that these kids aren’t mine. They are God’s entrusted in my care. And it is my job to do my best by them every day, but make no mistake I will screw up. I will probably screw them up too. It is the most humbling job in the whole world. And if you aren’t humbled by it, you are missing something.

If you somehow think you are above this, that you are a better mom than someone else cause you haven’t had your moment, let me break it to you not so gently. You will have your moment. Are there times we should question another mother’s decision? Absolutely. But moms are a powerful tribe. Let’s be a tribe that is quick to give grace. I know I need it.

Comments

  1. Word. Reminders every day of God’s control in our lives, and His grace and mercy. HUGS! You’re a champ, mama! Relax this week.
    .-= QuatroMama´s last blog ..A Twist In The Nativity Story? =-.

  2. I agree! I know that, as a mom, I give myself enough guilt trips for every little thing I do wrong…I don’t need other people giving me even more. Moms need other moms to build them up, not tear them down!
    .-= Lora´s last blog ..Honest Scrap =-.

  3. i have been thinking about grace so much lately and have not been able to put it into words yet.
    i give it so freely to my friends….and i should, but myself? i give none.
    thanks for writing this.

  4. The moment that sticks out in my mind the most happened in July of this year… I had just given Ella (my 2yo) her heart medicine that had a flip top to make the syringe go in easier. She LOVED her medicine… why do they make it so dang good?

    After giving it to her, I set it on the counter and walked out, ran upstairs to get ready for a photo shoot. My husband was in the living room, and yelled AMANDA! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!!!! I come running downstairs and he had just ripped the bottle of heart medicine that makes your heart slow down since her’s would go too fast (SVT).

    Mistake #1… not putting the childproof cap back on it… and not putting it in the cabinet. She pulled drawers out and climbed up in a matter of probably 30 seconds to access it.

    Majority of the medicine looked like it was on her shirt… so I didn’t panic. I got her dinner and then her head dropped. Why didn’t I take her to the hospital immediately??? Mistake #2

    The whole story is on my blog… Ella overdosed and almost died… from the stupidest thing EVER.

    But… I’m human, and I know that I can’t be perfect… and all I can do is thank God every day for picking up the pieces that I have dropped.

    No mom is perfect. Accidents happen, and unfortunately the outcome is not always good.

    Bad things happen to the best of parents.
    .-= Amanda´s last blog ..Just a Motivating Monday – Personal Development =-.

  5. thank you for the HUGE reminder. i have definitely had my share of “those” moments…including the bouncy seat incident.

    God is in control, and He does entrust us with those little lives, knowing we are going to screw up – THAT is grace…and it is AH-MAZ-ING!
    .-= lisa aka thebeadgirl´s last blog ..Everday Bracelet – Textured Bars of Silver and Gold on Chain =-.

  6. I feel your pain in that moment! Thanks for the courage to share this so openly, because face it, we’re all human, but are afraid to admit just how human we are sometimes!
    .-= Coralee´s last blog ..For Those of You not on Facebook =-.

  7. Accidents happen! But you are braver than I am, I dont think I could ever write about my mistakes with my child – that takes some real guts. But we are only human and I know I was dropped as a baby and I am JUST FINE! :) Your kids will grow up healthy and happy! I just know it!
    .-= Meg @ Manic Mommy´s last blog ..Five Question Friday =-.

  8. This is beautifully put. We have all gone through mistakes like the ones you describe.

  9. Thank you for writing about your mistakes. I sure have had my fair share and I am sure more are to follow… Its support and comparison we need, not misdirected blame and judgement.

    Merry Christmas!
    .-= courtney´s last blog ..weekend recap =-.

  10. I appreciate your honestly. We’ve all done stupid things when it comes to our kids. I’m so thankful for God’s never ending grace and every single day that I get to be a mom to my three beautiful kids.
    .-= Candace´s last blog ..Birthday Recap =-.

  11. I loved this comment you made: “But I was humbled once again that these kids aren’t mine. They are God’s entrusted in my care.”

    One of my friends has 4 kids. She told me she used to be very controlling and worried that something bad would happen to her kids. Then one day, her kids were with a babysitter, and they were walking down the sidewalk. A nearby car lost control and ended up on the sidewalk–just a hair away from them. They just stood in shock at what almost happened.

    My friend said at that moment, her whole perspective changed because she knew these kids were not hers. She was not there to protect them in a very dangerous moment. She did not have control. But God did.
    .-= Katie @ Frugal Femina´s last blog ..$35 Jiffy Lube Gift Card Winner =-.

  12. We all make mistakes, and parents’ hundreds of every day decisions are big ones! You think, “Oh, that’s harmless,” and next thing you know you’re holding a screaming child or headed to the emergency room. It’s one of the things no one can prepare you for before you become a parent.

    But you really hit the nail on the head when you said we moms all need to give grace to each other. We need to give grace to ourselves too. Grace not guilt. How’s that for a mantra for the New Year?

    Christy
    .-= Trippin’ Mama´s last blog ..There’s Still Time To Make Christmas Toffee! =-.

  13. I can’t count the times that I was a “foolish mom” and my babies/toddlers/children must have been protected by a fleet of guardian angels. Thank you for this candid post.
    .-= Amy @ Finer Things´s last blog ..Christmas Treat Baskets =-.

  14. Stephanie says:

    We all have these moments. Thank you God for being gracious to keep us humble. ((Hugs))

  15. When you told me about this,I was laying awake praying for little Sam to not have any unseen injuries and God put into my mind a picture of a huge angel that laid himself on that bathroom floor as Sammy fell and Sam landed on him, not the floor. He sure didn’t have a mark on him, but I think he had a little angel dust.

  16. I love you for owning up to this, and your post came at just the right time. I put Anneliese on the couch last night and she face-planted (who knew she could even ROLL!) – I cried for hours, I felt so bad.

    And then there’s that baby-in-the-car incident from Nathan’s infancy that I won’t detail here because it makes me sick to my stomach to think about it.
    .-= Erin G´s last blog ..Worst Ornament Ever =-.

  17. My little one fell off the couch FACE FIRST recently (right after I thought “I shouldn’t sit him here”, but I did it anyway), so I know exactly what you mean. Thank God for these sweet babies guardian angels!
    .-= Lucy´s last blog ..6 Months =-.

  18. Melissa says:

    Very well said! We have all had our moments, but it is easy to think that we are the only ones. Thank you so much!

  19. Yes, I hate accidents. We have had a couple as well. Nothing serious, but you still feel like the worst mom ever. Only by the grace of God can I raise this toddler. Blessings! Merry Christmas.

  20. Girl, my heart goes out to you. You are so right, they are not ours but we are allowed to raise them and ultimately, He is the only perfect parent. I’ve made so many mistakes just like the ones you mentioned and I *still* beat myself up for them even though (THANK GOD!) everything turned out fine. I’m so glad Silas is fine and I hope you are!
    .-= Heather´s last blog ..Rather Than a Pregnancy Update…. =-.

  21. How timely- yesterday my son who has been home with us just a month ran out into the street while I was keeping an eye on him from a distance. He ignored my voice calling him and telling him to stop. Another mom closer pulled him back to safety. (Moms helping moms!) Thankfully this happened at church where there are nearly more kids than adults so drivers are on the look out, but it could have been SO MUCH WORSE.
    .-= Jeannette´s last blog ..Yet another first =-.

  22. SO true!! And thank you for your honesty … it takes alot to say you’re wrong but a WHOLE lot to write about it on a blog. So glad the little guy is ok!!
    .-= mandi @ it’s come to this´s last blog ..Gingerbread days =-.

  23. loved this. blogged about this “mommy guilt” phenomenon when my 1 1/2-year-old scaled the side of his crib, fell over the other side and broke..his..arm.

    awesome. we all have our “awesome” mommy moments, don’t we? thanks for the reminder that we are human too.

  24. Makes me a bit panicky to read about these – SO glad the outcome was good today!!! And definitely a great reminder that they are ultimately His children, not mine.
    .-= Amy Warden´s last blog ..Returning Customers are KEY. =-.

  25. I can sooo relate to this! I have made more than one foolish decision during my 12 years of being a Mom, thanks for the post, and I’m glad your little guy was okay!
    .-= Liz´s last blog ..Yet More Winners! =-.

  26. I can so relate to this. I know with my first I did so many mistakes (didn’t give him water for his 1st yr- no one told me I should!, dropped him from a shopping cart- no seatbelt!, he stopped breathing on me- I didn’t know babies aren’t supposed to snore and he had pnemonia!, and so many other Ah Ha moments!) its only by God’s intervention he made it. There were so many things I did not know and I had no one to guide me at the time. He’s grown into a wonderful teen, and I know deep in my heart that its because we have HIM in our lives and not because of anything that I ever did. Its a wonderful feeling to know that He was always there, just like He is with you!
    .-= Ms. Latina´s last blog ..The Spy Next Door Movie Giveaway =-.

  27. Stephanie says:

    Amen!

  28. You’re right, we’re a powerful tribe. And do you know any group that will eat each other up the way we do? It’s almost like we’re waiting for each other to fail so that we can say, “SEE! I’m not as bad as you!!!” How is that helpful? Supportive? Encouraging? Your post was so right on.
    .-= Texan Mama´s last blog ..Random Thoughts Tuesday =-.

  29. I’ve made the same kind of mistakes. Letting my toddler play too close to the edge of the bed (yup, he rolled off). As hard as we try, we’re only human. We do the best we can, making mistakes along the way, and pray that we don’t mess up too bad.
    .-= Allison´s last blog ..10 Ways to Get Fit After the Holidays =-.

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