Surprise, Surprise- Marriage, Unwrapped

Young couple  in bed, toned black and white effect, vignette.

My dad’s birthday is this week (happy birthday to the best daddy ever) and we celebrated a little early this morning. My dad is a hard person to surprise for his birthday. He often times just buys what he really wants and we give him money. But my mom still keeps trying to surprise him and this year we pulled it off.

The girls and I made an elaborate scavenger hunt that led him to a boat launch where my mom, my brother’s family and my family had chipped in to get him a kayak. He was totally not expecting it at and he loved the treasure hunt. It was such a fun morning.

But what really struck me was my mom’s excitement over being able to surprise him. My parents have been married almost 42 years. And together for 7 years before that. You would think the surprising would be done. But they still like to surprise each other. And life has a way of surprising us even when we aren’t trying.

Marriage is such an easy place to get in a rut. Especially during the young kiddo years. Sometimes a week can go by and Ryan and I look more like roommates than husband and wife. And when you know someone so intimately in the way that a good marriage necessitates sometimes there seems to be little surprise and adventure.

There is a definite comfort in routine and sameness and knowing that you can depend and trust on the person you married. That is one of the most beautiful things about marriage. But don’t let that stop you from trying to surprise each other from time to time.

Not a, “Hey, I just decided to quit my job and pursue my life long dream of professional water ballet” kind of surprise. More like a “Hey, I signed us up for a salsa dancing classes cause I know we enjoy watching So You Think You Can Dance.”

The best surprises are the ones in which you show the person you are married to that you have been thinking of them and that you care about what they care about. In our marriage, signing up Ryan for salsa dancing would NOT be one of those ways (unless he was the one to sign us up cause I would think that would be so awesome). But surprising him with hockey tickets to a game that I would actually attend, wear Red Wings attire for and pay attention during the game would. I might even bring an octopus to throw.

How can you surprise your spouse this week?

You can find all the Marriage, Unwrapped posts here


  1. You’re so right about this! I’m surprising my husband with a birthday present of a night in a hotel (NO KIDS!!) in a few weeks. I’m so excited I could just about bust- it’ll be hard to keep it from him, but he’ll be so surprised!

  2. This is a great reminder to make sure we are present in our marriage…it’s very easy to just go with the flow of our lives!
    Jamie (@chosenchaos) recently posted…dear teacherMy Profile

  3. Just found your blog and ran across this post – really great point!! I just wrote a post on marriage today about the importance of companionship in marriage and not getting frumpy, and yeah, surprises are definitely a great way to maintain the fun in marriage!
    Anyway, I’m loving your blog, and I am now following you!
    Susan @ defrumpme.com recently posted…Marriage – What’s the big idea?My Profile

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