I distinctly remember sitting down with the pastor to pick out verses we wanted read at our wedding and telling her in no uncertain terms that I would NOT “be using that Ephesians verse” in our wedding. I was a strong, independent woman and that submission thing was not for me. Well thankfully, I have learned a bit about what God intended when he asked wives to submit and I now see submission in new ways.
As an example, do you watch any of the dance shows on TV? I am partial to So You Think You Can Dance (best show of the summer!). To make a beautiful dance, one person has to lead and the other person has to follow. It doesn’t mean one person is superior or better than the other. It just means they have different roles and that together, make something amazing.
Ok, so possibly a cheesy analogy, but I love that to fulfill God’s plan for my role in marriage I don’t have to become a different person than I am. I can still be a strong woman with an opinion and a personality, but one who supports and respects my husband they way God asks me to.
To me, my role as a “submissive” wife is one of supporting and respecting my husband. I think most wives would agree that we want a husband who is a leader in the household. But are we letting our husbands lead? Are we allowing them to do things differently than we are? Are we letting them try and fail without criticism? Do we appreciate our husbands for who they are right now or are we constantly wishing for them to be someone they aren’t (or couldn’t possibly be)?
I want to be the biggest cheerleader in my husband’s life. At the end of a rough day at work I want him to look forward to coming home to a place where he is esteemed and appreciated. I want him to know that I am proud of him and that I believe in him and his dreams. But I am also his secret weapon, his most trusted advisor and his closest confidant. To me THAT is the the wife God is calling me to be.
And guess what ladies? The Bible doesn’t say that we need to start respecting and supporting our husbands only when he starts being someone we deem worthy of respect and esteem. We are called to respect and support our husbands exactly for who he is right now at this very moment. If we are waiting for our husbands to lead perfectly before we submit we are missing out on God’s blessing for us as a wife. We submit out of obedience to Christ not based on our husband’s performance. That is a high calling ladies. Are you up for it?