My relationship with my oldest has always been an interesting one. If you met her, I don’t doubt you would find her delightful. She is truly and awesome kid. So bright and funny and charming. But as I have said before, she is a mini me and therefore can really push my buttons. Sometimes we spend the bulk of the day butting heads. And if I were to be completely, brutally, painfully honest with you, there are days I think I have probably screwed her up so badly, I should just give up and focus my energies on the youngest two and throw the oldest in therapy. Now, that is some good parenting.
But lately, I have been loving every second of being her mom. She is so helpful to have around and seems to relish in the role of my right hand “man”. And, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I am enjoying being her friend. To clarify, I don’t believe for a second that I should ever aspire to be “friends” with my kids. I am her mom first and foremost. But we are in this place where I love hanging out with her. It has become a little bit of a tradition that on Sunday we run errands together. It is a great time to chat and get insight into the brain of a second grader. Which is quite an entertaining place to be.
We are in a good parenting groove. I hesitate to even write about it for fear of jinxing anything. But I wanted to be an encouragement to you if you find yourself struggling with one of your kids. Some times phases really do end. But I think one of the things that really changed was spending time asking God to help me be a better mom to her. And to stop viewing her as my “difficult” child. I think that thought in my brain was clouding the way I interacted with her. I was spending all my time trying to like her when really I needed to do a better job loving her. Encouraging her. Praising her. It has made a world of difference.