It would be a major understatement to say that my mouth has gotten me in trouble over the years. Oh the stories I could tell you (but won’t). I am pretty sure it all started…..well as soon as I could talk.
Prior to meeting my husband, my mouth was also my downfall in most of my dating relationships. Sarcasm and nasty digs were my weapon of choice. I could always and did often get the last word. Man was I awesome in a fight.
But here is the thing. When you are fighting with someone you love and fighting dirty? There are no winners. I wish I would have learned that lesson much earlier in my life. Thankfully I learned it before I got married and it has saved me a lot of heartache.
Marriage will have its squabbles. The goal of my marriage is not to never have an argument with my husband. If that was the goal then I would most likely be someone who was stuffing all my emotions and feelings in attempts to keep the peace at all costs. The goal of my marriage is to solve each conflict as it comes in a way that honors my spouse and ultimately strengthens my marriage.
Keep your words ones that still respect your spouse. Don’t use words that escalate the situation. The fact that you know your spouse better than anyone else can be a dangerous thing. You also know exactly what buttons to push and exactly what words will add fuel to the fire. I hope you realize that is a lot of power you hold.
Have you heard the analogy of the nails in the board? You can pull them out but the hole remains. Our words are the same. Is claiming victory in some argument really worth putting damaging words out there that I can never take back? Forgiveness is essential to a marriage, but forgetting is a whole lot more difficult.