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You May Say I’m a Dreamer – What Your Husband Wants You To Know

Young couple  in bed, toned black and white effect, vignette. I am so excited to introduce a new monthly guest post as part of the Marriage, Unwrapped series.The handsome Mr. Diaper Diaries will be posting monthly on the theme “What Your Husband Wants You To Know.” I am sure you will find him as brilliant as I do. I wish I would have known what he shares today when I first got married. But thankfully the hubby has been patient as I learned. I hope you can benefit from it too.

Men are dreamers. Well, at least most men are. We dream about moving to new cities, starting our own businesses, playing professional sports, becoming famous, or even quitting our jobs and becoming beach bums (with our wife and kids in tow)! Many wives don’t understand this. New wives tend to panic upon hearing crazy ideas, veteran wives tend to ignore them, and over time, husbands learn not to share these big ideas. But few wives recognize the need to nurture their husbands’ creativity or ambitions, or recognize that it’s possible to do so without risking the family’s stability or nest egg.

So here’s the scoop… as a wife, you are bound by ridiculous pressures and societal expectations. Keep the house looking good, don’t go crazy with the credit card, raise perfectly behaved children, and for heaven’s sake, don’t hang on to any of that baby weight. I know… ridiculous. And husbands have our own burdens… provide financially (for both needs and wants), be strong, fix everything, tackle two days of chores after a 45 hours of work, and for heaven’s sake, don’t let those chicken wings wreck your cholesterol level. The grinding nature of the work week and taxing responsibilities of life can challenge our spirits. We can respond by allowing our brains to run on auto-pilot, or we can use the imaginations that God gave us to fantasize about what’s possible. That escapist mentality can be used for all kinds of good and evil (think Prov 6:27-29), but it’s best put to use when we allow our ambitions to challenge us to exceed others’ expectations for us.

So the next time he comes up with a new invention or dreams of becoming a charter fisherman in the Florida Keys, ask him to tell you all about it. Smile, praise his ambitious spirit, and give him a kiss. If he makes an appointment with a banker or begins writing a letter of resignation, then intervene by pulling him aside, sharing your concerns, and ask him to put the family first. But in the meantime, be the person who appreciates his passions and the person with whom he dreams of escaping. That’s what my wife has become for me, and for that reason, she’ll be the first person I thank when I raise the Stanley Cup.

You can find all the Marriage, Unwrapped posts here.

Comments

  1. Cat Moore says:

    Wow! I loved this! I love it when men step out and share their voice. Wish I could get JT to blog. ha ha! ;)
    Cat Moore recently posted…GIVE-AWAY WINNER!My Profile

  2. Wow! Great insight! Thanks for giving us a peek into the male mind.
    Staci Brown recently posted…Saturday Stumbles – Snowed InMy Profile

  3. Loving the idea of getting a man’s insight into men.

  4. This is great. I am very challenged in this. My nature is to immediately start thinking about practicalities and I know that crushes my husband’s spirit. I am really working on letting him dream and even finding small ways to nurture the passions that fuel those dreams. Great reminder.
    nicole recently posted…Casual FridayMy Profile

  5. ashley says:

    Awesome insight & very well expressed! I think it goes both ways too. As a wife, I’ve had some pretty hair-brained ideas as well as some, may I say, brilliant ideas, and my husband always listens with a supportive ear. If he’s rolling his eyes on the inside, he’s good at hiding it. Love and trust go hand in hand and if we all need a safe place to express our brilliant or crazy ideas. Now I need to run…I have a new restaurant/retail/cat shelter/daycare learning center/fitness studio business plan to write :)

  6. This is great insight. I almost have the opposite problem. My husband dreams LOTS of things, but he never does ANY of them. He seems stuck in a rut and the drudgery of his 7-5 job. I try to encourage him, but not to the point of pushing. I am glad he doesn’t jump at every passing whim, but wish he could see his potential to bring some of them to life!
    Bernice
    Living the Balanced Life recently posted…Are you too busy to be yourselfMy Profile

  7. Alissa says:

    Wow, I didn’t realize this was a “guy” thing. I thought that my husband was the only dreamer out there. This is great insight. I think I knew in my heart that I probably shouldn’t always be giving my logical argument as to what could go wrong with Tom pursuing his dreams. Hey, he pursued me and that turned out well! Anyway, I will start encouraging his dreams from now on. Thanks for this, Mr. Diaper Diaries!

  8. Oh, how I wish I’d learned this earlier. My husband is always coming up with ridiculous ideas. Well, we both are, but I tend to think mine are completely possible while his are, as mentioned, ridiculous. I’m just now starting to understand how support of even the craziest dreams is part of respecting him.

    Thanks for writing this!
    Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect recently posted…Monday Morning Mmmm- Oatmeal CookiesMy Profile

  9. Jennifer Young says:

    Ok, I too thought I was the only one! Immediately after we were married, my husband bought all of the Rich Dad Poor Dad books and decided we needed to invest all of our money (haha) in real estate. Right away. I panicked and freaked out a little bit. The idea fizzled, but I am open to it in the future. Your post made me realize that after only 6 years of marriage, I am already ignoring his big ideas. Thanks for the reminder to listen and appreciate.

  10. This is so true! My husband is the same way! Thanks Mr. DD for writing this series!!

  11. Great perspective. Blessed to know you both.
    Thank you for investing in our marriages.
    QuatroMama recently posted…How To Enjoy a Relaxing Weekend at HomeMy Profile

  12. Great post. Gave me some food for thought. My husband is most definitely a dreamer!
    Tiffany recently posted…Handstamped Jewelry You Will Adore GIVEAWAY!!!My Profile

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