I dispense a lot of marriage advice on this blog and even moonlight as a “relationship expert” from time to time on our local news. But lest you think I take myself and my marriage too seriously I thought I would repost this story from my first year of marriage. We are headed back to the Weekend to Remember this weekend for a little marriage reflection and hopefully we will be on our best behavior.
Before I got married and in the early years of marriage, I devoured all sorts of marriage books. I really wanted to have the best marriage possible so I went crazy with the books. And while reading, I discovered the most fantastic marriage organization, Family Life. Next step, I discovered they had a weekend marriage conference. So, much to the delight of my hubby, I suggested we go. Seeing as we had been married a few months and he still couldn’t say no to me.
So we went, and it really was fantastic, but that is not the point of this post. If you have been to this conference you may remember that you are given a book full of notes for all the sessions you attend. Except the notes aren’t complete, so you spend each session filling in all the blanks. And I should mention that we are crammed in this auditorium and the pace is pretty quick so often times you spend a lot of time “cheating” off your neighbor’s answers so you don’t get behind.
Well on the last day of the conference I headed out to the ladies room during a break. I came back, took a seat next to my wonderful hubby and began taking notes as usual. When I turned the page, I discovered a very large, very graphic, very anatomically correct drawing of the male anatomy. Yes, my new husband had drawn a very large penis complete with testicles in my book for all the surrounding strangers to see.
I was mortified. He was so proud of himself and laughing his head off. And if you know him at all, you are not surprised by any of this. Sadly, his weird sense of humor is one of the reasons I married him and love him so. I covered up the genitalia and pressed on.
Well, I couldn’t wait to get my revenge (in a healthy newlywed sort of way). So at the next break when the hubby went to use the bathroom, I picked up the book sitting on his chair and drew a huge pair of boobs. HUGE. And then I waited giggling to myself the whole time. I giggled right up to the moment the guys sitting next to my husband picked up HIS book off my hubby’s chair and began to open it.
So I did what any sane person would do. I bolted. Grabbed my book and ran for the exit. And when the hubby came back from the bathroom, I was nowhere to be found. Finally he spotted me out by the exit doubled over in laughter. I couldn’t even pull it together to tell him what had happened. We tried to re-enter the conference and sit in the back, but we frankly couldn’t do it. We just could not stop giggling.
Did I mention this was a Christian conference? Did I mention we have the maturity of sixteen year olds? Um yeah, we had to leave the conference early hanging our heads in shame. And praying that poor guy who discovered a large pair of breasts recovered and that his wife didn’t think he was some kind of pervert. And hoping that the good people of Family Life don’t read my blog and ban us from all further marriage conferences.
*we’ll see if they let us in ;)