Have you ever had a season in your life that was so busy and intense and insane that you don’t even realize it because that pace has become so normal that you don’t remember life any other way?

THAT was the past year and a half for us. Intense in so many ways. Going back to a baby in the house, with foster care, meant lack of sleep and lots of chaos with four kids in the house. And we took on way too many commitments, as is our way, but didn’t realize how many commitments are inherent in foster care with a baby between visits and doctors appointments and court dates. It was a whirlwind of a year.

Now the dust has semi-settled and we have margin. Calendars that have very little on them. Stretches of day with nothing to do and nowhere to be. Mornings where no one wakes up until 7:30 or 8. Margin. We can breathe.

It is taking a lot of restraint on my part not to fill all the spaces. I am one who uses busyness as a drug to numb and a badge of honor to show how important and needed I am.

I am filling the spaces. But filling them very intentionally. Taking time to read a book that serves no purpose. Cleaning out closets and drawers and purging from my life things that serve no purpose. Lots of coffee dates with friends that were neglected when we were in survival mode. And slowly looking for ways to plug our family in to things that bring us joy and purpose.

Today the hubby built a roaring fire and we all pulled out books and read. Snuggled under blankets. Spread out across the room. Sometimes we read to each other, sometimes the only sound was a crackle of the fireplace. When it came time for dinner, I called an audible and we brought our food to the front of the fireplace spread out on the floor in an imprompteau picnic. The kids were too messy, but tomorrow is vacuuming day so I pretended it didn’t bother me. Then we snuggled and read some more until the clock ticked bedtime.

The fire is still crackling. As soon as I hit publish I am back to my fluffy novel. The calendar tomorrow is filled with pick ups and drop offs and errands, but also a coffee date with a friend and our bible study with our favorite people. This pace of life suits me well and I had no idea it would.

Do you have margin in your life? What do you need to say no to to make that happen?



  1. I think compared to most we tend to live a slower life. I think I struggle with the battle of are we just too lazy to plan anything? Or are we letting our kids be kids and enjoying God’s rest? I’m sure there’s a balance there and we need different things in different seasons. So glad for you to have a Season of Margin! The roaring fire (while sounding a little warm since it’s 60 here) and book afternoon sounds amazing!
    Jessie Weaver recently posted…Saturday Linky LoveMy Profile

    • Don’t you apologize for slow. It just isn’t our personality, but that is definitely not always a good thing. We struggle with balance constantly. Something I am really learning right now.

  2. alicia says:

    Thanks for sharing this! I’m working at creating more margin in our schedule and lives right now. We have 7 kiddos (under the age of 10!) & our 3 youngest are foster children. I understand fully how fostering consumes your time, without your even realizing that it’s doing so! We’ll be at that crossroads soon….where we choose whether or not to adopt the littles. They fit here, but I miss things like evenings by the fire with kids who actually know how to read! I’m concerned about the lack of margin they create and the effect that has on our kids. It was nice to read your perspective and realize other foster parents have the same struggles!

    • well holy cow!! SEVEN!!! That just puts me to shame. What a blessing you are to your kiddos and the three you foster. It was a BIG struggle when we were choosing whether to adopt or not. But in the end, God placed our sweet baby with the most amazing family. All is as it should be. Praying for clarity for your family :)

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