End of an Era


My youngest Silas is two and a half. He is suddenly talking up a storm. He is completely potty trained even at night. He can do a million things all by himself.

But he is still my baby.

Last night when it came time to go to bed, we tracked down Mr. Monkey, but we could not locate the one other thing absolutely necessary for bedtime. The pacifier.

Over time pacifiers have come and pacifiers have gone, but about six months ago we decided when they went, we weren’t replacing them. And over time we whittled them down (seriously where do these things disappear to? Somewhere with all the missing sock pairs) to just one. One pacifier we guarded with our life.

But last night it honestly disappeared into thin air. It was in the car when we left for church. It was not in the car when we got home. We ran around like chickens with our heads cut off trying to find it but it just wasn’t happening.

So we broke it to the little dude that he was going to sleep pacifier free. There was a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth. Silas was upset too.

This is my third child to break of the pacifier habit. It isn’t my first time at the rodeo. But it breaks my heart every time. And I think because Silas is forever my baby, it broke my heart even more. He whimpered and begged and then was silent. I feared going in his room and stirring up trouble so I moved my pillow to the floor outside his bedroom door and waited.

He was a champ. Last night he ended up in our bed (with his feet somehow in my face), but today he went down for a nap and for bed without so much as a whimper.

Of course we found the pacifier in the car today. In the exact spot both Ryan and I looked last night. Silas caught me finding it and his eyes lit up. But we told him the pacifier was done. And he didn’t protest. I am so proud of that little guy, my heart could burst.

Of course this means my baby is one step further away from being my baby. Back to that wailing and gnashing of teeth…..


  1. Please come to TX and potty train my “baby” this summer. He’ll be 2 in May. I’ve never had a kid out of diapers before age 3 and really more like 3.5 I hate potty training so much. Our little guy has abandoned the pacifier with relative ease too. Every once in a while he finds a stray one, but he doesn’t fuss when we take it away and he goes to sleep just fine. So maybe I can hope potty training will also be easy.
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