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Can You Get Fired From This?

toothfairy As you might have read yesterday, the hubby and I went away for the weekend. And we left behind a certain 5 yo with a tooth hanging by a thread. Lily gets freaked out by all things loose tooth related. When she has a loose tooth, she won’t let you see it, let alone touch it. She stops smiling, stops talking (a feat in itself) and kind of disappears for awhile. So I was really hoping the thing would disappear while we were gone. And by disappear I mean fall out, not get swallowed like the first time. Somehow my joke about it coming out the other end and biting her didn’t go over so well.

So we told the grandparents that we were planning on giving a dollar this time and we told Lily the tooth fairy would be able to find her at their house as long as she put the tooth in her pillow. As I am explaining all this, Lily gets a look in her eye and says, “Mommy, I kind of have this figured out anyway….” I interrupt her, remembering this is the same child that determined there was no Santa Claus at 4, and set her straight. “Lily, the tooth fairy only brings money if you believe in her. So you need to decide if you want to believe.” She quickly decides the tooth fairy is very real. I didn’t raise no dummy.

So we leave and she goes to work on that tooth. Secretly with her tongue when no one is looking. And the tooth comes out. It goes in the pillow. Pillow goes next to the bed. Lily goes to sleep. Papa puts the dollar int the pocket. Puts the tooth in a cup high up in the kitchen.

We come home the next day after hearing all about the tooth stuff on the phone. We ooh and aah over the cute toothless smile. Ooh and aah over the dollar coin. Then Hannah and Lily go about playing. Papa says, “I was really surprised at how little the tooth was, wanna see it.” Not thinking anything of it, I say sure and he brings over the tooth. Suddenly Lily looks up and says, “Wait, doesn’t the tooth fairy take it with her.” All 4 adults in the room mumble various different stories about why we have the tooth. They were all totally lame.

The best thing is that Lily is quite good at math. She knows darn well that she has 18 teeth left in that mouth and that is a lot of cash. So she just nodded. Gave us all a look that pretty much said, whatever lame adults, and went back to playing. I am so not cut out for this stuff. Who knew I would be so bad at simple lying?

Comments

  1. It’s rough, isn’t it? I want to quit sometime myself. All the sneaking and lying, and staying awake late. On top of all that, I know my son KNOWS by now. Your daughter does sound smart!

    Nancy M.s last blog post..Giveaway- Sweet Valley Candles and Gifts -4 Winners

  2. *snicker*
    They pick up on way more than we give them credit for! And mine’s only 2!

    Kristas last blog post..Shaybah – The Empty Quarter

  3. LOL…ah we are so transparent as parents!

    Mrs. Qs last blog post..Ever Seen One of These?

  4. I would gladly pay to have my daughter lose all her teeth at my parent’s house because there’s going to be a lot of drama when it’s her turn.

    Loris last blog post..No pickles, candy or cake… just muck

  5. LOL When my brother and I were little I was his tooth fairy for my mom. I never believed in Santa or the Tooth Fairy (or any of that stuff) and he did. The look on his face was so funny every time. Hey you know what.. if I had known better (I was only 6 or 7) I should have asked for a fee of being the tooth fairy. I still got money for mine though. Oh boy… my oldest will be 4 soon!

    Candices last blog post..Cute Carrier Give Away

  6. kirwin says:

    That story is hilarious!! Funny thing is that my 5-year old son 100% believes. Oh yeah. Totally and completely. Especially in Santa…

    We have a local guy who looks exactly like Santa. He’s big and round, and has a fluffy white beard. I’m not kidding. And get this–he drives around a really nice red and black tricked-out Expedition with a license plate that reads “ST NICK”.

    I have my son convinced that Santa lives in our town during the off-season. LOL

    kirwins last blog post..30 days of lovin’

  7. Andrea says:

    I would have told her that the Tooth Fairy left it for you to see because you were out of town when it came out. After 20 teeth and two girls, you get adept at the story telling!

    Andreas last blog post..Sing and Shout For Joy @Exemplify

  8. You gotta think these things through! Create a backstory for the Tooth Fairy, a biography, character sketch, then MEMORIZE it! C’mon now quit acting like an amateur! :)

    Jenny from Mommin’ It Up!s last blog post..Again with the Hormones

  9. OMG I laughed so hard. You are too funny.

    Hotomoms last blog post..Top Ten Tuesday – Ten People To Avoid At A Party

  10. I only hope that my children believe in the magic of things for a long time. I myself believed in santa, the tooth fairy, the easter bunny for a long time…and I hope Ican bring that innocence to my future children. I can imagine how hard it will be to keep that secret. Keep it up!

    Jen
    http://www.afterthealter.com

    Jens last blog post..Growing old Gracefully

  11. Melissa says:

    This tooth fairy thing is harder than I thought it would be – my husband and I have forgotten to swap the tooth for money THREE time!!! Not once but THREE times!!! We are such loser parents. The first time we forgot, I told him that since he lost it right before bed, the tooth fairy already had her night planned out and was all booked up. He bought it. The second and third times, the tooth fairy left him a note apologizing for the oversight. He has kept both notes as “proof” that the tooth fairy exists. Now my tooth fairy problem involves the money – the little boy next door got five dollars for his second tooth, and the tooth fairy only leaves a dollar at our house. My kids are going to learn that life’s not fair a little early. :)

  12. Oh my gosh, this is an ongoing conversation in our house…re: tooth fairy, Santa and the Easter Bunny. I have so much Mommy guilt from all the lying. I’m so bad at it. When they ask if any of the above are real, my only resonse is “Do you think he’s real?” I’m in real trouble when they are teenagers.

    Heathers last blog post..Strep Sucks

  13. Michele says:

    I live with dino-boy, he gets a dinosaur related item. You know, toy, foam dinosaur craft, balsa wood skeleton puzzle. And Melissa, (April 7 2:24) our fairy misses her cue too. My son suggests we go out to play, because his fairly reward could show up anytime…traffic. The fairies even have to contend with traffic. There are a lot of little kids out there in first and second grade losing teeth. (we typically get the report at the dinner table.)
    The school does the cutest thing. The school sends a tooth home in a miniature lidded plastic tooth container on a flimsy, and all so perfect string. We have one stashed, exchanged the string for a pink strand in preparation for little sister.
    Now when is she going to lose a tooth?

  14. Hee hee hee, that’s funny :) And it’s a GOOD think you suck at lying, right?

    Amanda- VintageDutchGirls last blog post..Suncreen and swimsuits…

  15. “I didn’t raise no dummy.”

    hahahahahahaha this is my favorite kind of post!

    Erin Gs last blog post..Christians in a Mosque

  16. Ok, I that was hilarious! I seriously hope I’m better at keeping a secret when it’s my turn to play tooth fairy… although I’m a terrible liar. :P

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