Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Which I hope is the case because I have been mostly absent from this blog.

I just couldn’t blog about it but for a few weeks the depression and anxiety started winning again. It was so discouraging because for nearly a year I had managed it and was even getting to some new version of normal which pretty closely resembled the me from before.

So this hit me like a ton of bricks and kind of knocked the wind out from under me. Well that and the whole depression and anxiety thing which leaves me not wanting to get out of bed and crying for hours at nothing at all. Basically I was a delight.

At one point my amazing supportive hubby came home with flowers and said, “I just wanted to do something. I feel so helpless.” My only response was “Join the club.”

Because I felt incredibly helpless as well. Overtaken by a darkness I fought against, but then again the irony about depression is that you barely feel like fighting it.

I woke up Saturday morning with the immediate recognition that something had shifted. I had “myself” back. And although it has been several days where I have felt more or less “normal” I am struggling to find my footing again. I am just kind of waiting for the routine of school to start again.

So I will be real hit or miss around these parts until that happens. I have a few sponsored posts to fulfill and frankly I am grateful because it gives me something to write about instead of staring at a cursor for an hour until I finally shut my computer and call it a night.

Thanks to the 4 readers who have stuck with me. I hope to be back soon.


  1. I love you and stand with you.

  2. Hang in there. Enjoy your trip. Maybe you will have some totally blog-worthy moments – the good kind! Will be praying for you!
    Amy Tilson recently posted…LonelyMy Profile

  3. Jana S says:

    I know what you’re going through (have been through it many times). Just know you do have people who support and admire you.

  4. Melody James {Sweet Ivy Confections} says:

    Praying for you!!!

  5. cindy says:

    been there. done that. have scars. praying you feel peace soon. routine does tend to help. ping me if u need anything…

  6. Candace says:

    It’s funny how we’ve never actually met, but I feel sad for you- like you’re a close friend who’s suffering. Praying for you! Your vulnerability with this issue especially is so inspiring. You are helping so many people out there by giving voice to what you’re going through.

  7. Lindi says:

    You are not alone with with your struggle with depression. It is a nasty little beast. I take an antidepressant and it will still over power me sometimes. Hopefully being on birth control pills will lessen the impact of PMS depression that I have. I will pray for you. I have found that praying and having others pray for me is the best cure. I could probably write a blog on depression

  8. This resonates with me. Thank you for sharing and reminding me I’m not alone with these struggles. I’m new to your blog and I’m not going anywhere. I hope you get back to your normal soon.

  9. Jilly (yep, I can call you that because we did a Bible study together. :-), I’m sorry that you’re feeling sad and frustrated. Praying for you and the return of your sass. Hang in there, friend.

  10. Standing with you, too…and looks like more than four of us here! I have those times as well, wrote about it a little, but live with it always. Stay strong, sister, it will be better soon.
    Nick Ortega recently posted…Marathon training update, and the long, hot summer…My Profile

  11. Thanks for sharing this – depression has such a stigma about it but talking (and blogging) about it will help others in the same dark place.

    Glad you feel normality returning

  12. Ah, Jill, more than 4 readers have stuck with you. :) My heart goes out to you, and I’ll be praying that you have many more days of feeling “you” ahead. Blessings to you!
    Robin Kramer @ Pink Dryer Lint recently posted…Kids Being Kids: Life with NeighborsMy Profile

  13. Kristina says:

    Praying that your normal is back and that you return to solid footing again. You are not alone, God loves you, (as do your blog readers!) and this too shall pass.

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