It has been awhile since I have posted an update on our foster care journey. I apologize to those wanting an update. There just hasn’t been a lot to update.
The fact is, in foster care there is an intense beginning. And likely a difficult ending. But in the middle there is just a lot of day to day parenting (at least with a baby, I am sure older children come with much more drama). Outside of a frustrating and broken system, there just isn’t a whole lot to report. She is growing and changing and adorable and honestly just part of our family.
Until she isn’t anymore.
We are growing closer to that day. Her mom doesn’t seem to be capable of being a parent and while that is heartbreaking, it is likely this baby would be placed with another family member. We have a good relationship with her probable adoptive mother so I am hopeful that we will continue to stay in her life. All of it is so the right thing for her.
But we are stuck in the in between right now. It is a hard place to be. Trying to love her well, but naturally finding ourselves pulling back a little as we sense the end is near. I want to continue to love her like my kids do. All in, oblivious to the fact that our hearts might just break a little. Ryan and I have to keep reminding ourselves to love her like our own until the last second we have her. I guess human nature protects your heart.
Tomorrow is another court day. Could be a big one. But it might not be (gotta love the certainty of foster care). Either way it is likely this little girl will have been in our home and our lives and our hearts for close to a year. A year.